Maverick2's Blog

Every person has to work out their salvation individually. For me that is to say, work peace of heart and mind out for myself. No one else can do it for me. Neither can I do it for children, friends or those that I am surrounded.

Once peace found, I have just enough oil in my lamp for me. I can barely keep myself much less another.

Through the years, I’ve tormented myself trying to walk this faithful and narrow way with one foot in my path and another foot in the path dictated to me. It seems I’ve always tried to live in the “overlap”. To me the overlap is that place where common ground is found with friends, family and religious people. Many of the things and ways I believe in and would act on are not believed in by those that I love so I would find the overlap and live there. I guess one would say, cowardly I straddle the fence with my worship and ways so as to not be ostracized from the group or to disappoint the group.

No ones fault but my own, but at times I have felt like I had a form of godliness but denied the power of God.

Church began to be about seeing and being seen. It began to be about the responsibilities. Feuds over who should be playing the piano and who should not be playing the piano. Guitars are wrong, pianos are right. Men should wear short hair. Women should wear dresses. This person wants to join the Church but we know they are living with someone so they have to be turned out of the Church. There should be an altar call. There should not be an altar call. The communion cup or cups should have ocean spray grape juice in it (them). No, it should have wine in it (them). Jesus is coming back to reign on the earth. No, Jesus will never set foot on the earth again. The preacher should spit and slobber or he isn’t in the Spirit. No, he should speak softly and articulately or he isn’t educated. There needs only be one Bible in the church. No, everyone needs to bring their own Bible. Shall it be the King James Version Bible or an NIV Bible? King James! Which one? The 1611 one or the New King James Version? Why did the preacher go see Aunt Anne at Emory hospital last night but didn’t go see Grandma Gertrude at Tanner Medical? We can’t believe people actually work on Sunday!! Huge sin. What’s wrong with them?

Hey y’all, by the way, where are we going to eat after Church today? El Nopal or the buffet?

I’m not intending to be critical of anyone though I know it may come across that way. Some of the best times I have ever had in the Lord, were worshipping with my brothers and sisters in the little meeting place. I’ve seen all of our hearts dial into the frequency of love, drop all of the pretense and dissimulation, and really really go to meeting. I’ve seen this happen in a little Church house on the side of the rode, in huge churches with a full on band, in a carpet mill around yarn boxes, and even just sitting on the beach listening to a little yacht rock with a glass of wine in hand.

Because of my own shortcomings, I sat down on the Lord. That form of godliness I had didn’t hold up and eventually I’d be figured out. My cup looked clean on the outside but inside I was filthy.

I read where Jesus was asked about the most Important commandment. Jesus explains that to Love God with one’s entire mind, heart and soul is the most important commandment and that to do this, one has to love their neighbor as their own self. Love is important. That’s it. Love. If we get up every day and wear love in spirit and walk therein I suspect there would be more peace in the world.

Many religious leaders in His day would try and tempt Jesus to speak against Moses’ law. They set traps for Him so they could use His words against Him and get rid of Him. No wonder Jesus spoke almost entirely in parables. Today we even try to use words against one another so that we might find fault with one another. I’ve done it. God help me. One of the religious leaders agreed with Jesus, that love was the great commandment but this religious leader did so discreetly. Jesus explained to him, “you aren’t far from the kingdom of God.” Meaning to me, now, if you know love is the way, don’t be ashamed of it. You are very close to finding peace and salvation. Simply, wear love proudly and unashamedly.

Just for today, I put on love ❤️. I will wear ❤️ unashamedly and ask everyone I’ve ever hurt or offended to forgive me in love. I will show love to all I meet today without dissimulation and regardless of what Bible they carry, doctrine they espouse or what they look like. I hope some sweet soul will show me ❤️ too.

I love you Jesus, lover of my soul. You are my protector and provider. You, Jesus, are my best friend and consume my mind and heart this day.

A testimony Sunday, September 26, 2022

Over joyed to be enjoying the election of grace.

If we have the heart of a little child and believe, we can have peace that passes the understanding of those adults around us. We truly have been extended unconditional grace.

Unconditional means just that. There is no conditions set forth by which my God won’t receive me, except blaspheming against the Holy Ghost.
If there are no conditions then why must I humble myself as a little child to enter into His peace?

In my view, grace (unmerited favor) is extended to all. Our God loves us so. Yet, peace of mind and heart is elusive due to the cares and concerns of this life stripping away at our belief.

As adults, we have many cares and we do take on way too much responsibility without casting our care daily upon Him. Day after day we cultivate the habits of trying to do this thing called life on our own. It gets harder and harder to enter into that prayer closet and leave it all on your altar. Hard but possible.

As adults we have many task masters. We have institutions, bosses, poor partners, and takers who try and place burdens upon us that are grievous and hard to bear. Yet, we try and expand ourselves daily to take on more and to please all just like hell enlarges it’s own borders daily. We create our own hell here on earth and cause hell for others.

As adults we look for complex solutions to simple and complex problems.
As an adult have you ever tried to solve a game problem and couldn’t solve it but watched an inexperienced child easily solve the problem? I have.

Often the complex problems we face could be more easily solved if we humbled ourselves as a little child and took it to the Father, in belief. There is nothing hard for the Father. Nothing. God lives in certainty of all things. God has all solutions.

It’s so easy for an uncorrupted child to have child like faith. For me, I’m working on having the wide eyed wonder of a child again. I desire to walk in the newness of life and approach every challenge with the heart of a child that knows that he is part of the family of God and has been extended favor that only a child receives from its Father.

Material riches won’t allow for peace. Only being rich in faith allows for true peace.
Father, I believe. Father help my unbelief.

A testimony Tuesday, September 21, 2021

James 1:23 ~ But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his face in a glass:
For he beholds himself and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looks into the perfect law of liberty, and continue therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

As a teenager it was hell fire and brimstone preaching that brought me to my knees. It seemed the message of God was that everything I thought, everything I done, everything I felt and almost everything I said was hated by God. God was good and I was bad. With repentance and then only by walking the chalk line would I have a chance of being saved. I went to the altar, afraid. The minister asked me to repeat a prayer and to believe on the name of Jesus. I did that. After whaling on the altar long enough, I was considered to be saved. The church rejoiced. I left that first experience of heartfelt repentance not feeling like I had experienced grace but rather that I, through some amazing emotional effort had narrowly escaped hell fire 🔥 and that I was going to commit to living perfectly the rest of my days so that I could forever be free of what the world calls sin. Impossible assignment.

I’ve always understood that Jesus died for my sins and that belief in Him and in His name was the only way to be saved. Yet, deeply I know now that the experiences I’ve had with God and His Word have always been of my flesh and it’s limited understanding of the things of the spirit.

There is a walk in the flesh and there is a walk in the spirit.
For years every morning I have went through a similar ritual. I get up, hit the shower. While in the shower, I think about all of the problems and opportunities I will face in the day. I beat myself up for the former days, weeks, months and years of mess up and mistakes. I shamefully ask, “here am I again Lord, will you forgive me again for all my inadequacy and mistakes? Else, I feel you won’t help me get through this day.” I’d beat myself up for every mistake every morning and even if I’d already beat myself up sufficiently, I would then anchor to fear of failure again.

Every person has to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling. You better work it out. One doesn’t want to have their soul hurling through outter darkness, with no noise, no pain, no pleasure, and no connection with God for all eternity. There are some things worse than the hell man has told us about. That’s my view anyway. While we all must workout our salvation and inner peace, the hell fire preaching I received so early on didn’t help my faith walk. I put my faith in my works and in my own ability to keep myself. I was alive to the law, the law of man. I simply couldn’t keep the law and because of the law, I have known nothing but sin my entire life.

Thou shalt not….

Then I’d do it.

Sin.

Shame.

Regret.

Pain.

Repent.

Repeat.

Like Adam and Eve, I knew no sin until the commandment came. The commandment came, they couldn’t live up to it, hid themselves like I’ve tried to hide my own sin, and they were cast out of the garden with all peace lost. Their story was a great foretelling of my story. However, a new story has begun…..a new journey….and I am not ashamed…..

I had the most amazing story and experience of grace Saturday, August 21, 2021.
A preacher came to me, The name was the Holy Spirit. I say The Name because The spirit wasn’t male or female. God is not a man and God is not a woman. God cannot be labeled as a label would limit God and one cannot limit the omnipotence of God. I am Travis. Travis is my label. To your eye, all my works, good and bad, are attached to my label. My label limits me in the flesh. God is the great I AM that I AM. God is limitless power. God is the power and life of an infinite number of stars ⭐️ that burn bright because God tells them too. I cannot fathom the power of the Everlasting Father. We have given labels to God for our own conversations sake and due to our limited understanding of God and God’s awesome power. This preacher asked for my hand, corrected my private interpretations of scripture, showed me love, empathy, compassion and then took all of my bad baggage and cast it as far from me as the East is from the West. I wasn’t afraid and wasn’t ashamed. I felt accepted. I felt loved. I felt protected. I received the message and the kingdom of heaven with gladness. I’ve never been talked to like that, ever.

You are a beautiful mind and made perfectly in every way.
Your past isn’t ugly, it was a fire that refined and purified you.
You are courageous.
You are good.
You are no longer alive to sin but are dead to sin.
You were lost and now you are found.
Here is a ring for your finger.
Here is a new wine skin.
Walk in the spirit and in the newness of life.
Your sins be forgiven, past, present and future.
When you do sin, you have an advocate with the Father. You have me, the Holy Spirit, to make intercession for you.
Take your fig leaf off and let go of your shame and guilt.
Enter into my joy.

I can go on and on for hours about what was revealed to me that day and life will never be the same.
I’m not afraid that I will stop praising Him because there is too much pleasure in praise and communion with my God and with His saints.
Everyday, I go through new rituals. I still get in the shower, first thing, but I don’t think of today’s problems first. I think of the agape love I feel for God, for my family, my friends and life. I set my intentions for the day and know that everything I touch, with patience, will work out perfectly according to God’s will. I think of what manner of man that I am now and ask the Holy Spirit to not let me forget the manner of man I am now. I am blessed, forgiven and highly favored. A beautiful bride and beautiful child of the Most High.

Holy Spirit please don’t let me forget during this day that I’ve passed from death unto life because of precious Jesus. Don’t let me forget that I’m dead to sin and now made alive to God by faith and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Help me be not a forgetful hearer and forget that I’m redeemed and that only alive to God through this new spirit filled walk.

The storms of life like fog in a mirror sometimes causes me to forget that I am free and that I am beautiful. Not today. I win because He won.

A testimony Sunday, September 19, 2021.

Meet Jacob! Jacob reminds me of the story of the stairway that reached from earth to heaven with angels descending and ascending. A great reminder to me that I entertain angels unaware. I have since I was just a child. My pure child mind entertained them often. It’s been a long time since I communed with them due to the corruption of my adult mind. It’s nice to have child like wonder again.

Jacob also reminds me of my birthright and the blessing that is over my life.
I love having anchors all over the house that anchor me to a spirit filled walk as opposed to a flesh walk.

I hope you all have an amazing and joy filled weekend full of self love and care and compassion for others.

Romans 6:11 ~ Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

What a glorious day is today. For 50 years sin reigned over me because the laws of man were my keeper. No longer. The Christ has set me free and when Jesus sets you free you are free indeed. Grace keeps me now.
The evils spirits of worry, regret, shame, self criticism, and harsh judgement reigned over me.

50 years of that internal voice of mine saying “you failed, you aren’t good enough and because of it you are a bad person.” are over for eternity. My flesh mind loves to flirt with the former yoke of bondage to sin and evil spirits. It’s only from time to time and out of habit that I yield to those miserable comforters but in faith and through the everlasting grace of Jesus I can quickly get my flesh mind under control with a walk in the spirit.

Walk in the Spirit and deny the lusts of the flesh, the Word says.
Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus the Word says.
Beautiful. I’ve been made alive to God and have passed from death and unto everlasting life. A more abundant and pleasurable life too!
For 50 years the traditions of man taught me how to be a good person. It left me feeling like a bad person.

For the last several weeks I don’t just FEEL like a good person. I AM a good person, in Christ. Not because of works should any man boast but only because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Holy Spirit is my teacher now. I need no man teach me. I only need the fellowship of other spirit-filled believers who have tasted of the sweetness of grace too.
Let’s talk about Him all the day long until the sun sets, after the sun sets and again if the sun rises.

War talk, disputes, judgements, big haughty talk are so depleting, at least for me. One hundred years from now none of that will matter. What matters is understanding that we are in a different spiritual dimension now, a dimension where it’s important to know what spirit we are in now…..

If we are to have peace we must walk in a spirit of charity and love.
For me, I want to know that I can walk in a spirit of peace, love, joy and mercy the remainder of my days and regardless of what is going on around this natural flesh body. It’s a work in progress but the work follows faith.

My faith is weak but I am exercising it daily with His help. It is growing like a mustard seed grows.

A testimony Saturday, September 18, 2021

So you perceive you have failed? No, you garnered experience.

An old saying that I’ve had to embrace because of my many perceived failings says,

Failure is a good thing. Success comes because we make good decisions. Good decisions are made because of one’s life experiences. Experiences that mean the most usually comes, most of the time, because of one’s failings.

Everyone that achieves anything worthwhile goes through many failures to garner life changing painful experiences. You aren’t being punished when you fail, you are garnering vast experience. You have to be willing to go through the hurt and pain to win.

Proverbs 20:29 ~ The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head.

Not sure what this verse says about me, I’m bald. Ha ha. But if I did let my hair grow it’s as grey as can be now. The pepper continues to fade and nothing much left but salt! It means by now I should be learning from all of the life lessons of the past and putting those lessons to good use.

I do have vast experience with failure. I’m actually going through a heavy dose of it now but by faith, I trust the scripture:

Romans 5:2 ~ By whom also we have access by faith into his grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the Glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulations worketh patience; and patience, experience and experience hope: And hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our heats by the Holy Ghost which is given to us.

I haven’t quit but I have failed a ton. When I share with people my hope they sometimes look at me as if I should have quit along time ago. I mean how many times can one fail themselves and others? But, deeply, I know, I have faith and trust that God would not bring me this far without making provision for me. God knows the only reason I have kept going is my faith in Him, regardless of how small a measure of faith that it is. So, this morning I know my hope will not make me ashamed. God will see me victorious.

I’m no longer trying to prove people wrong. They aren’t God. Only God is God. I’m going to prove God right about me. I am a success in Him.

YOU are too. Don’t quit on yourself.

A testimony Monday, September 13, 2021

I love that GRACE talk in the Bible. I love the GRACE walk even more. I’m gonna need it after yesterday.

I’m justified by faith and not by my works. I’ve been grading myself daily as I’ve tried to meet daily demands with a good attitude. I established a list of my, shall we say, my weaknesses recently. These were tasks that I keep procrastinating on, work goals, emotional goals, spiritual goals and the like. I’ve been grading myself with letter grades A through F based on how much of my daily list I felt I successfully accomplished. I have had a good run of it until yesterday. Yesterday’s grade was an F. I failed to meet one single goal. I tried. I failed.

Normally I’d get up today and throw my hands in the air and say “I’m a failure. Why even try? I quit.”.

But rather today, I’m going to repent, accept a little grace, anchor back to Jesus and keep going.

I sure like giving myself some grace and I have today. Today is a new day and I will try again.

To know I’m not justified by my works but justified by faith in Jesus means yesterday’s F grade is hidden within Jesus’ A+ grade. This means I had an A+ day yesterday too!

Because of Jesus I can’t boast over my A+ Days because to God be the Glory. Therefore, I don’t have to cry and feel bad over my F days. Every day is His and is covered by His grace. You can’t have it both ways! Everyone falls short except Jesus. Everyday is an A+ day.

God gets the glory on my great days.
God gets the glory on my bad days.

So in Christ, I’m back in the saddle today.

A testimony Saturday, September 11, 2021

Wretched man that I am, my heart is hardened so fast. I take solace in knowing I am in the same boat as men that are and were far better than me in their flesh.
I read about Paul and how his life was in physical jeopardy daily for the cause of the gospel he preached. Paul declared “I die daily.”

My life isn’t in jeopardy because I seek Christ. I am thankful that I live in this country and can worship as my heart leads me. The worst, so far, that I will have to endure is a little mockery and scorn. That’s nothing. There are people all over the planet that have a sincere desire to worship Jesus but can’t openly or else they will be killed. I am truly blessed to live here and be able to freely worship and am ashamed my heart hardens so quickly.
While my life isn’t in physical jeopardy because I seek Christ, my spiritual life is in jeaopardy daily because of the hardening of my heart, the deceitful ness of riches, and the environment I live in so I have to work on spiritually “dying daily.”

My spiritual life has been resurrected and it is so important to me. Yet, as an example, yesterday I got up, gave the first fruits of my day to the Lord and by the days end the cares and troubles of the world had etched away at my spirit. I started that day with a tender heart but by the time I went to bed, I went to bed with those old familiar spirits beating on my hearts door like something out of a horror movie. Thankfully I kept the door shut and locked.

The morning has come and in the past I would hit the ground running and attempt to catch up on what was behind from the day before. I would try to fix my mistakes from the day and weeks before and I’d do it all alone without asking the Holy Spirit to help me, guide me and keep my heart tender. Today, I’m trying to reset, “die today” to the love and practice of sin, and invite the Holy Spirit to help me. I can’t keep myself one day without His help.

I love reading about the miracle of the loaves and how Jesus fed 5,000 men plus an untold number of women and children in a desert place. He sat them on grass in the desert. Ever seen green grass in a desert!? Wherever Jesus is, even in the most barren of places, there is something growing and flourishing. Jesus blessed and broke the bread and instructed the disciples to give the bread and fish to the people for sustenance. Thousands were filled. As well, there were so many leftovers that there were 12 huge take home boxes left over. The disciples witnessed this but later while toiling and rowing their boat with the winds contrary their hearts were hardened and afraid. Jesus came to them and said “Be of good cheer, it is I, be not afraid.” Jesus went and got in the boat with them and the wind ceased.

How quickly their hearts were hardened and how quickly they forgot about the miracle of the loaves.

God has done so much for me. I can see all the dots of my past connected now and see how He has been with me as i toiled. I can see how I toiled in vain without him and I can see how, with Him in my life, miracles were wrought. How can I be so unfaithful at times?

I’ve read where Jesus marvels at two different states of being. He marvels at our great faith and he marvels at our unbelief. I suspect He has marveled at my unbelief many times. I weep this morning over that. I will die today……to the flesh….and look for opportunities to believe and maintain a tender heart. I suspect it won’t be astonishing faith but even if faith the size of a mustard seed, I know He will be pleased.
Even now I hear the Holy Spirit whispering “You’re too hard on yourself. I love you Harmony.” My God is so easily pleased. Men take from men. Men eat men. Devour them. Jesus feeds men. Never takes. Oh how I love Jesus.

A testimony Friday, September 10, 2021

Psalm 142:7 ~ Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.

Jesus met a man one time who come out of the tombs with an unclean spirit. No one could tame him. The man was eaten up with many evil spirits.

I too, have spent much time surrounded by uncleanness. My thoughts chaotic, double minded, self willed, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. I could keep it together for a while but eventually the junk inside of me would be exposed with the pressures of life. I’m like a tube of toothpaste. I look fine when the pressures of life don’t squeeze me but if I get squeezed too much, what is in me, good or bad, comes out and it gets on everything and everyone. I have held it together and then BOOM, I explode with rage. Love should have come out of me, light should have come out of me. All of those things that troubled me were opportunities to show the greatness of the Lord within me. Those troublesome episodes in my life were opportunities to glorify the Lord and because I was double minded and allowing my mind to hang around the dead hopes (tombs) of this world I was exposed for what I was; not a man after God’s own heart but a faithless person. Medications didn’t help. Worldly counsel didn’t help.

This man, like me, spent a little too much time around dead things, dead works, and self willed living. A legion of unclean spirits was eating him up and making him look like a wild man and a lunatic. Men would try to chain him and contain him. They couldn’t. Night and day this man would cry and cut himself.

BUT

Here comes Jesus.

Jesus can tame a wild heart, heal a hurting heart, and place one in their right mind with His Word. Even Jesus from afar off can heal brokenness. The man seen Jesus afar off, ran and worshipped him. Jesus commanded the unclean spirits out of the man and the man was immediately seen clothed and in his right mind. Jesus told the man to go home to his friends, and tell them the great things the Lord has done for you and how the Lord has had compassion on you.

I feel a kindred spirit with this man. Like him, I want to stay in that place where I experienced Jesus for the first time. I’ve asked to stay on the mountain top with Him but my spirit feels that He has forbid it for now and that I am commanded to go and tell everyone about this man Jesus who has gotten hold of my heart. Recently, I can tell, when friends and associates give me tough news that they expect me to go off, get depressed, or become angry but the Holy Spirit that works within me is guiding me and keeping me. I can see that many don’t trust that the changes are real. That doesn’t trouble me at all. His grace is sufficient. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect but I promise I will do better because of my Jesus.

In faith I believe He is filling my toothpaste tube up with love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, meekness, self control, and faith. I’m a work in progress and the workman is perfect. He is the Christ, the Holy Spirit. As life squeezes me, I am beginning to see opportunities to represent my Father. After all He has done for me, I feel it’s my reasonable service.

A testimony Thursday, September 9, 2021.

One definition of sin is going against one’s own self. A person that goes against their own self cannot stand for long. A kingdom that wars within itself cannot stand for long.

I’ve dealt with many unclean spirits within my own bodily members. My mind has often conflicted with my body. My flesh has warred against my spirit. I’ve dealt with the unclean spirits of judgement, regret, shame, faithlessness, and self abasement. No one in their right mind would allow those unclean spirits to settle in and make their home in the heart. I’ve been a worrier. I’ve been a bitter man at times. All the while, I would also try to be good to people, minister to people, and do good works. I was at war with myself.

While half of me did good, the other half of me was fighting unclean spirits. (Any spirit not of the Christ or not of Christ’s love, in my estimation, is an unclean spirit.).
When I could stand no longer, Jesus, the lover of my soul, has been moved with compassion concerning me and reestablished my going’s. He’s done it again. He has done a mighty work in my heart.

His love lights my way. Though I face uncertainty this morning over many things I am faced with, I will trust Him. I’ve enjoyed my morning sacrifices.

My sacrifices have been not grievous. Actually, have been no sacrifice at all but a profound delight. My sacrifice has been a cup of coffee or a Spark, lol. I’ve written down my intentions and heart. I’ve written down the questions or prayers I have. I’ve confided my uncertainties and fears to Him. I’ve anchored to His love and guidance. I’m deeply trying to rely on His providence and say, “Never the less, not my will but thy will!”, knowing that He, My Father, Mother, Brother, Friend, and Husband wants better for me than I want for myself.

Because I am just a man, this morning I heard unclean spirits knocking on my heart’s door. I usually let them in. This morning I went and locked the door with a lock that said “Jesus, says you cannot come in here.”

A testimony Wednesday, September 8, 2021