Last year, August 21, 2021, I had a profound experience of grace. I got in the Word and remained in the Word for quite some time. Lately, I’ve allowed the cares of this world to strip away the peace that was inside my heart. It was late last year that I did something that God had impressed upon my heart to do for over a decade. Make Shibboleth a free wellness program again. After all, It started as a free program. I had denied this impression because on paper it doesn’t work. Suddenly and without consideration for our team, thinking I had heard from God, I announced that Shibboleth would be a free program. I knew in my heart God would take care of us.
Since then, on paper, the thing I love to do and the thing I feel called to do has suffered. In short, math is math. Math is science. The decision I made looked unwise to everyone that cares about me and now looks unwise to me. I feel foolish. As a responsible adult, I’ve made what appears to be a terrible decision for those who count on me. My wife, my children, and my beloved Shibboleth members.
Since announcing we were going to offer the Shibboleth lifestyle education and support for free, we’ve had difficulty with social media trying to out us, text and email banning many of our communication methods, suppliers having supply chain issues and the list goes on. In addition, offering a free program makes it harder to keep clients subscribing committed. It’s been a challenging year.
Late yesterday, I needed to get out of the house to work. The vibe at home has been kinda dark and intense and is one I’ve unintentionally created as of late. I went to a coffee shop and worked and come to the reluctant conclusion that I made a mistake and needed to get rid of the free program for everyone’s sake. So many people I admire have told me for the last 10 years or so that I’m a great weight loss and wellness teacher with a gift but I’m not a businessman. I’m not sure I’m a gifted weight loss and wellness teacher. I’d argue that I’m not but do have a fire to help people. I definitely know I’m not a businessman. I accept that I have poor business skills. I have no ego about that. I’ve even let various people who thought they knew better take the reigns several times but they always do worse than I do when at the helm because they desire to straddle the fence or get rid of the faith-based element that is so important to Shibboleth. How can one obtain true wellness and change without the faith-based element? Without Jesus?
I remained unsettled throughout the evening, got home, and went to the prayer room downstairs. I slept there, unsettled all night.
This morning, I centered myself and decided to get back in the Word. As of late, I’ve been inconsistent with my prayer time and devotions. So, with our new weight loss challenge starting today, I thought it was a good time to reestablish giving God the first fruits of my day. After all, God and His presence are my true joy. There are pleasures in life; food, dance, laughter, sex, games, competition, working out, and other pleasures but if they become the central focus of life they just become habits and the pleasure is lost. The only lasting pleasure or lasting joy that I have found is to be in God’s presence. When there, in His beautiful presence, it’s a state of bliss that you have a knowing is lasting and never wears thin.
As I prayed, read, and asked God to reveal His will for me, I turned to my devotion today and read the following:
1 Corinthians 9:14 ~ For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!
For if I do this willingly, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have been entrusted with stewardship. What is my reward then? That when I preach the gospel, I may present the gospel of Christ without charge, that I may not abuse my authority in the gospel.
For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more.
The Holy Spirit has stopped me in my tracks this morning, encouraged me, and reminded me that He did not impress upon me that this would be easy.
I’ve been trying to run from this life for too long. The truth is, whether I want it or not, I am a preacher. I’m not The Preacher. There is only one and His name is Jesus. Yet, He has called me, the weakest of the flock, the most fragile of the flock, the most foolish of the flock to do my best to imitate Him and share freely what is upon my heart that He might win the more.
So, for today, I’m in Christ, I will preach true healing and wellness to few or many freely and with Fire. I will trust God as the author and finisher of my faith. I will trust God with all.
I declare I am not a good businessman and do not seek to be one. The only business I need to be about is my Father’s business and His business is Salvation, peace, and mercy.
After all, the business person’s smarts is all
vanity and vexation and goes to the grave with them. I am a minister of the gospel of peace that is found only in Christ and Shibboleth is the platform I am to use. I plant, I water, but God shall give the increase.
So, for today, which is all I have, my faith is unwavering and I seek souls that I may help return to their first love; Jesus. As well, I desire to help every willing and wanting heart heal their bodies through our weight loss and wellness lifestyle called Shibboleth. After traveling together and reaching our destination we will again praise God, bow our unworthy heads, and Give God the praise for it all.
Thank you Lord for being my comforter, counselor, and champion.
I love and adore you.
I hope the reader will forgive my grammar and misspellings. I have other work to do.
My Testimony, November 1, 2022