1 Samuel 16:7 ~ But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
This number on the scale is not me. If you look in my heart as God does, you will see this small child. I tucked him away early in life. He was the best part of me. He was bullied, made fun of and called effiminate. He loved God and often talked to God in His secret place. God had a plan for him but I hid him away. I thought there was something wrong with him so I hid him away where he’d be safe. After all, for so many mean things to be done to him and said about him by those good kids and adults there must be something wrong with him that he needs to change or mask? I thought I was helping him by keeping him locked away. Saving him hurt if you will. Later, and without this kids help I’d turn to food, alcohol, worry, regret, shame, judgement and self willed living determined the world would only know me as I wanted to be known. I wore a mask with all of my interactions because I didn’t want to be bullied or hurt, so I pretended to be something I wasn’t. That is exhausting. It leaves your soul empty and in need of fulfillment. I looked in the wrong places for fulfillment and acceptance unable to accept myself. On August 21, 2021 God reintroduced me to the best part of me and we made up. The child inside of me is sweet, kind, tender hearted and loving. The devil was afraid of this kid so he tried to kill him or at the least suffocate him. The child in me has forgiven me and I’m taking a back seat to him now. I should have always because it’s a lot easier being the real me than being someone I’m not. Now my soul is filled and it’s easier to be disciplined with food and my emotions. God is so good and loves me so. He loves you so too!
Be true to yourself. Don’t let the world stick a finger in your face and tell you who to be. God has a plan for the real you and not the pretense version of yourself.
I turned my back on my calling. It almost destroyed the best part of me. Don’t turn your back on your true self. Those that love you will accept you. Those that don’t love you will be identified and you can mark them and remove yourself from them so that they cannot hurt you or force you to wear masks.
My true identity is being revealed to all because I’m not afraid to be me.
I surrender to Jesus. I surrender to the best part of me. If you haven’t I hope you find the courage to surrender too! The world and your God deserve the real you.
A testimony Wednesday, October 13, 2021