Maverick2's Blog

Paul says…

Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?

I’ve never liked examinations.

I prefer to keep my head in the sand and hope the problems I created go away.
I had an amazing experience of grace on August 21, 2021. Until recently, it had been an easy walk. Imitating Christ as best as I could daily. I let go of fear, judgement, guilt and regret. I had faith that I was made perfect by God’s strength which lifted me above my weakness. If I messed up, I easily forgave myself and got back up in the saddle of faith. I just had a knowing everything was going to be ok.

I maintained a gentle and loving spirit. I practiced self-acceptance and acceptance of others. It has been like my view of the world had been in black and white but turned to full color. It’s been glorious.

Yet, the last couple of weeks and daily, I’ve not been able to stay on the narrow way as easily. I think that’s the key word, “easily”. It’s been increasingly harder daily. I’ve been transparent about the ease of walking in Christ since August 21, 2021 so I also want to be transparent about the increasing difficulties I’m experiencing.

I’m still giving the first fruits of each day to the Lord. I’m still exhilarated before, during and after prayer and devotion but something is off.

I’ve been reading and studying a lot more and at time’s I find myself judging myself again over what I’ve read rather than rejoicing that my life is now hid in Christ. It seems the more I engage in self judgement the more I judge others looking for some reason to feel better about my own self.

As I examine myself, I realize that some of the grace period God granted me is over. Not meaning that im not experiencing the grace of God daily but rather that my faith has had more need to be exercised daily. Not as much of my faith walk has been as easy lately. Emotionally, physically and spiritually the walk has been a little more challenging.

I’m finding it increasingly diffficult to avoid self judgement, grant myself mercy, or keep a sound and stable mind. I catch myself living in fear more often. “What if this happens? What if that happens? That will be bad.” Yet, I’m supposed to exercise faith and feel “No matter what happens God is with me and it will work out.” Im increasingly trying to do things myself again and for myself.

Im reminded this morning that im not god and when I try to be, im a very bad god. Im reminded again this morning that God is God and it is God that I worship and keeps me and my mind sound and stable.

Paul says that we shouldn’t judge others and that we shouldn’t even judge our own selves.

It’s through our own judgements that we lose child like faith and wonder. It’s through our own judgements we become wise to the world but fools to God. It’s through our own judgements that the walk of faith becomes difficult and the color fades. It’s through our own harsh judgements that we lose joy and peace.

Today and today only I will try to Surrender my judgements on the altar of sacrifice. I will do so unto God asking God to please allow the honeymoon to be extended a little longer.

I’m thankful for this little trial. It is an opportunity to get back in the faith by exercising unwavering child like faith so that my faith may go stronger.

Thank you Lord for being the lover of my soul and for keeping me. I’m reminded today that I am weak and you are strong. You are able to rearrange my chemistry, speak health to my bodily cells and to fix whatever is going astray with me. I need you and Surrender to you before the household of faith. Please help me see clearly today.
Bless the name of the Lord.

A testimony Thursday, October 28, 2021

Psalm 119:83
For I have become like wineskin in smoke….

As I read I find that trials and troubles can be a good thing or a bad thing.
A wineskin hanging over the warm smoke from a fire can help perfect the wine within, yet, left in the smoke too long the wineskin becomes brittle, inflexible, and no good. A ruined wineskin will ruin the wine within.

There are troubles and trials in life. With unwavering faith in God, these trials can make us a better person. Without faith, these trials can leave us wounded, hopeless, and inflexible to change.

We all have a breaking point. Don’t be like a wineskin left in the smoke of the fire too long.

I love thinking about the resolve and faith of the three Hebrew boys. They walked with God and had unwavering faith. They refused to worship any other god other than The one true God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Even when confronted with a fiery furnace they would not bow down. Their “wineskins” cast into the fiery furnace to kill the “wine” within had no effect on them. They survived because they declared that they would not bow down to any God but their God.

By not bowing down they didn’t have to go into that fiery furnace alone. When we walk through the fire with faith we do not walk alone.
Three Hebrew boys were cast in the fire but there were four “wineskins” seen loosed and walking around in the fire and one was like unto the Son of God. They went into the fire alone but they weren’t in the fire alone. God was with them and when they were brought out of the 🔥 not a hair on their head was singed and they didn’t even have the smell of smoke on them.

I suggest that after that their faith was deepened and the “wine” within made more perfect.

Thank God that whatever we face today we don’t have to face it alone and whatever it is, God will use it to work a perfect work within us.

I feel the “wine” within my “wineskin” has been made more pleasing because of the smoke from the fire. My affliction lasted long enough but not too long.

Thank you, Lord. I am content with my wages and love you so.

A testimony Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Psalm 119 is one of my favorite psalms.

When seemingly bad things happen keep the faith. Whatever it is hasn’t fallen on you to punish you. People may tell you that certain afflictions come because you aren’t living right or are being punished and if you turn back to God then you will overcome the affliction. In a word, that’s hypocrisy. We all fall short and there is none good but Jesus.

It rains on the just and the unjust. Life has natural ebs and flows. Hills and valleys. One man can be a reprobate and seemingly everything goes his way while another man can be just and deal with enough affliction that it would seem he’s being punished.

It’s true that we reap what we sow but crisis comes to all. You are either living through a crisis, headed towards a crisis or getting through one and on your way to the next crisis. It’s just part of life but God uses the crisis or affliction for our good.

David said “God I had forgotten about you but after my affliction, I have turned back to you and I now love your word. You are good and you do good.”

God is always working in my life. However, I have often went astray and forgotten that getting through crisis with God is better than going through crisis without God.

The last few months have been challenging but August 21, 2021 l surrendered to my self imposed afflictions and asked God to forgive me for going astray. God has rewarded me with a closeness to His presence that baffles me and has never been more real to me.

Who am I that God should give me a millisecond of connection with Him? I’m speechless. He has made my heart full and is working on me daily.

In faith I look for more prospering in the Lord. Paul told Timothy to meditate on the Word of God and God’s laws. Paul told Timothy to let no one despise his youth and to give himself over to these things entirely and wholeheartedly.

I ask God to grant and allow me a heart that is all in on Jesus and all in unto Him.

After all, His laws aren’t hard to keep.

Love yourself

Love others

Love God.

A testimony Monday, October 25, 2021

Psalm 119 is one of my favorite psalms.

When seemingly bad things happen keep the faith. Whatever it is hasn’t fallen on you to punish you. People may tell you that certain afflictions come because you aren’t living right or are being punished and if you turn back to God then you will overcome the affliction. In a word, that’s hypocrisy. We all fall short and there is none good but Jesus.
It rains on the just and the unjust. Life has natural ebs and flows. Hills and valleys.

One man can be a reprobate and seemingly everything goes his way while another man can be just and deal with enough affliction that it would seem he’s being punished.

It’s true that we reap what we sow but crisis comes to all. You are either living through a crisis, headed towards a crisis or getting through one and on your way to the next crisis. It’s just part of life but God uses the crisis or affliction for our good.

David said “God I had forgotten about you but after my affliction, I have turned back to you and I now love your word. You are good and you do good.”

God is always working in my life. However, I have often went astray and forgotten that getting through crisis with God is better than going through crisis without God.

The last few months have been challenging but August 21, 2021 l surrendered to my self imposed afflictions and asked God to forgive me for going astray. God has rewarded me with a closeness to His presence that baffles me and has never been more real to me.

Who am I that God should give me a millisecond of connection with Him? I’m speechless. He has made my heart full and is working on me daily.

In faith I look for more prospering in the Lord. Paul told Timothy to meditate on the Word of God and God’s laws. Paul told Timothy to let no one despise his youth and to give himself over to these things entirely and wholeheartedly.

I ask God to grant and allow me a heart that is all in on Jesus and all in unto Him.

After all, His laws aren’t hard to keep.
Love yourself
Love others
Love God.

A testimony Monday, October 25, 2021

There is no hiding from God. You can fool the people some of the time. You can fool yourself almost all of the time but you cannot fool God.

The Holy Spirit searches the riches stored in one’s heart. Our true character resides deep within our heart and the only way to really know a person is to know their heart.
The heart. The heart. The heart. Intentions. Intentions. Intentions.

Paul says “I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, rude, arrogant but obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.”

Paul’s words resonate with me. I didn’t know what I didn’t know either.
All of my energies were directed towards my own goals, my own lies, my own indulgence, my own worries, fears, and others expectations of me.
On a Saturday, August 21, 2021 I found grace.

I unclothed myself and fell naked physically, emotionally, and spiritually on the mercy seat.

I surrendered worry, regret, shame, judgement, indulgence, lies, self critique, my own desires, and my depression to the Lord. My heart was searched thoroughly and it was terrifying, but only for what seemed a blink of an eye and then I was caught up in the Spirit for what seemed an eternity. I felt love, release and a change come over me that granted a peace that still passes my understanding.

Like Paul, I experienced and obtained mercy, that in me Christ Jesus could show all long suffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.

If God will show mercy to me, God will show mercy to you.
Come home. It’s beautiful here.

I still fall short of the mark daily but I press on with renewed hope and vision for what can be in this life.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know but now that I believe, I know. I know He is the lover of my soul, protector and provider.

I know better now. I will do better, in Him, now. I surrender.

A testimony, Friday, October 22, 2021

I fell away. I went after other gods and did so to my own hurt.

I talked the talk but I served a little god who sat on the throne of the innermost part of the temple.

That little god?

My own ego.

I was self-willed, faithless, and given to over indulgence in food and drink. I wasn’t blameless but blamed others for my failings. I tried to fix people’s problems myself for the glory of it and for their acceptance. I toiled and worked but the more I toiled and worked the deeper my pit became. I was a bad little god.

God didn’t hurt me. I hurt myself.

High blood pressure, high cholesterol, acid reflux, sleep apnea, type 2 diabetes and depression.

Anger issues. Temperament issues. Recluse behaviors. Mood swings. Worthless feelings.

On a Saturday, August 21, 2021, I decided to fall on my knees and ask God to give me a heart to really know God. I asked God if I could return to God with my entire heart. The answer from God was YES.

I got my little ego up out of God’s throne, the one in the innermost sanctuary of the tabernacle not made with hands called my heart and asked my God to sit in the center of my heart forevermore. I asked Him to allow me to be a prisoner of Jesus Christ the remainder of my life. I asked to be a doorkeeper and servant if God found me fit enough to do so. God did much more than I deserved and with the kiss of charity did the following for me……

My spirit was instantly lifted, my overindulgence In worry alleviated, peace that passed all understanding entered in like fresh air to a suffocating soul. The world that looked black and white now is in full color! My spirit felt like a bride whose veil had just been lifted only to see her bridegroom, provider and protector clearly for the first time. I felt like my God’s delight and that feeling has continued until today.

I am accepted of God whether I do good or whether I do bad but some how I want to do better. I don’t need to beat myself up with self criticism to motivate myself any longer. I just feel like doing more not less. I’m more disciplined and with more ease. I have more genuine joy and smiles come naturally instead of forced.

I’ve got it made. My ego is still there but it has bowed to the one true God and lover of my soul and spirit. My God is the King of kings and the Lord of lords. God knows how to reign over me, my body, my spirit, my mind and soul much better than I knew how to do it myself.

I am happy. To live is Christ and to die is gain.

Surrender is a beautiful and powerful thing.

A testimony, Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Today, I’m reminded that the day of the Lord comes as a thief in the night.

The day of the Lord ~ a complete and utter day of reckoning. Judgement. The universal and eternal reign of God.

I’m glad I’m no longer a child in or of darkness. I am awake, a child of the day, sober and watchful and look for the day of the Lord with a new heart and a new mind. I have been suited up with a breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. Whether awake or asleep, I live with the Lord Jesus Christ.

I consider my transformation from darkness to light to have happened August 21, 2021. I suggest it had already happened and never been any other way when you consider that God sits in high places and sees the beginning and end of all things. Was I ever even in danger knowing my life is as a vapor, not even a vapor to God? I’m not even here for a little while. I’ve been on this earth for 51 years and to the Lord and compared to eternity I really haven’t even been here.

Do what? Lol. Sorry, I’m just musing. I’ll get back on track here.

My life is no longer wrapped up in the law, judgement, regret, shame, unworthiness, guilt, and self-criticism. My heart has concluded that there is none good, no not one. Not me, not you, no one. Our righteousness is as filthy rags. I can put my trust and hope in doing better, judging constantly, giving alms, praying long prayers in the streets, etc or I can come to Jesus and put my trust in grace. I can put my trust in Love, love of people, love and respect for every living thing, and love of God. Love is rest. Strife is hard. I choose love.

I would never have thought that salvation come from doing nothing except showing love and then having faith in Jesus. By Grace through Faith I am born again.
My day of judgement will come. I am no longer trying to speed it up or slow it down. It’s coming and I am resting in Jesus. I trust His word and His word tells me I won’t be judged harshly if I don’t judge harshly and that love covers a multitude of sin. I also know, my life is hid in His life. The only one good. The only one.

Jesus: Why doesn’t thou callest me good? There is none good except God.
Travis: I call you good because you are the only begotten son of God, the Christ, the Lamb of God, the creator of everything seen and unseen. Here am I Lord, send me.
Jesus: I am. You lackest nothing else. Flesh and Blood has not revealed this to you Travis, but my Father which is in heaven has revealed this to you. I will establish my church (fellowship) in your heart and the gates of hell will not prevail against you.

I have conversations in my head like this everyday. They make me want to shout Hosanna, Hosanna!

A testimony, Monday, October 18, 2021

Putting trust in self, man, money, stocks, crypto currency, institutions, businesses, politicians, and the like while forgetting the Lord will bring affliction on one.

At least that is my personal experience. I will do my best to never allow my heart to depart from the Lord again.

See there….above….I almost did it again with this statement “I will do….”
I cannot DO anything and if I am going to DO something I’d better do it in the name of the Lord and as though unto Him. I cannot keep myself. Only the grace of my Lord and savior Jesus can keep me.

So today I will put on Jesus the only way I know how and will ask the Holy Spirit to provide that that I lack.

Faith. I have faith but I am weak and my faith is lacking. Wisdom is lacking. So, I ask the God of heaven to give me a pure mind that desires to exercise my faith in word and deed. I ask that God give me wisdom liberally and assist me with all that I put my hands to. Without God’s helps I will be like a shrub in the desert and will not see good.
If I continue exercising faith in God and waiting patiently on the Lord, I will see good and do good.

I was told one time not to ask God for patience or faith as God may put me through painful struggles so that I might learn.

I don’t believe that. I’ve gotten too acquainted with God’s tenderness and mercy. The only time I’ve had to learn the hard way was when I forgot my God and pursued the evil dictates of my own heart.

I’ve found God doesn’t need to hurt His children to teach them lessons or help them. He simply needs a tenderized and willing heart. My God thinks a thing and it happens. My God speaks a thing and it happens. All my God has to do is think of my good and my good will happen.

My God’s loving kindness and generosity, I rely on. If I desire to be more faithful, kind, temperate, loving and wise, My Father will grant it.

I love you Lord. I can do nothing apart from you and neither do I want to anymore.

A testimony Saturday, October 16, 2021

Chasing any goal or dream that is outside of God’s will is futile. Chasing money is vanity. Chasing relationships that God isn’t in is vexation. Chasing one’s own self-willed wants is like chasing the wind. The only thing worth pursuing in this short fleeting life is the kingdom of God.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and everything else you need will be added unto you.
Today, I will do my duties to the best of my ability while drawing near to God with my heart. I patiently await my next path forward. I do not know what it is so rather than launch out into the deep alone, I wait for Jesus to give unction and order my steps. I will stand still until then.

Today I will draw near to God and focus on what He has already commanded me to do and is my reasonable service. I will take care of my body, mind and soul. I will love the household of faith and strangers I come in contact with. I will forgive and show mercy. I will be tender hearted with my wife and those I come in contact with. I will teach and support those who want to lose weight. I hear no other command in my heart at this moment so I’ll take rest until the command is given.

I see trouble on every hand but trying to fix it myself is futile. Trying to fix things myself is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Rather than focus on fear, I will focus on faith and on all the beautiful people and blessings in my life.

No, I shall do nothing else but the above and wait on Jesus.

When He says it’s time and shows up, good things will happen. On His time and not mine.

The feast is preparing and if I wait patiently, I will dine with Jesus at a table prepared in front of my enemies.

You can join me in faith if you’d like? There is no law against love, mercy, tender heartedness and faith. There is no law against waiting on Jesus’ favor to show up in your life.

A testimony Friday, October 15, 2021

I just read about all these prophets that prophesied in God’s name but were doing so falsely. The people believed the prophets and all fell.

There are so many people based Bible interpretations. Self proclaimed preachers, prophets, apostles, and teachers. There are so many different messages. How do you know which message is true or false? How do you know whose called of God and who is not? I don’t know that answer for others but I know it for me.

Who do I listen too? Anyone who is in the spirit of Jesus. If they preach Christ crucified, dead, buried and resurrected I listen and rejoice. If they preach that God is love, self care, love of the brothers and sisters, love of God who first loved us, I believe and praise God with them. If they preach or teach casting our care upon the Lord because He cares for us, I believe and amen them. If they preach we have liberty, all things are legal to us in Christ Jesus but not all things expedient for our edification or the edification of others, I get behind it. If they teach and preach not to be a busy body in other people’s matters I find peace. If they teach and preach not to judge or you shall be judged I stand and shout. If they boast in their own weakness without pointing out my own weakness I bless them. If they boast in the blood of the lamb and that they have overcome by the word of their testimony and faith in Christ I might have a running fit. If they preach mercy, grace and secret giving I can amen them. If they say today is the best day ever to be a member of the household of faith and that good things are coming, I am of good cheer. A good word makes my heart more cheerful than strong drink.

However, if they preach on the day and time of the end, I turn it off. If they preach be a follower of God so that one might prosper materially, I turn it off. If they go on and on about give me some of that money, not for the light bills, but that if I give to them, God will send material blessing my way, I turn it off. (Happy to give to the needs of the Church building, needs of the full time minister, or sustenance and futhrence of the Gospel). If the spirit they are in isn’t in the same spirit that I read about Jesus being in, and is about canceling others, judging others, making fun of others, etc. then I turn it off. Might as well be watching Fox News and CNN.

I’m not against these people and they may be right. I don’t know. I just know there is a lot of information and news to digest daily and I can only digest so much so I’d rather spend my valuable time listening to doctrines of love that everyone can agree on and that is taught or preached in a loving and passionate way. That’s the messages that bear witness with me.

I’ve carried enough fear, shame and judgement around on these shoulders. I unloaded it August 21, 2021 and I’m not about to pick it all back up.

I love a good report and a good word received in a child like heart.

A testimony Thursday, October 14, 2021